A frustrating Serpentine revenge
by Silver Darkness Star
Summary: Getting revenge on ninja and burning their monastery to the ground is no easy feat. The Serpentine know that better than anyone. (Set during the events of the episode Home) (Rated T for irrelevant deaths, paranoia and mild cursing)
1. Part one

It all started with that brat Lloyd. As soon as the ninja started cutting down that treehouse, he was off complaining. And when Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon starts complaining, you'll be lucky if he ever stops.

 _"It's not fair! I specially said that no ninja were aloud in my treehouse! I made a sign! Why didn't they read the sign? Everything bad always happens to me- I never get a break- I'm just trying to be the evilest person I can be- my dad never pays attention to me- BLAH BLAH BLAH-"_

Well, that's what it sounded like to the Serpentine at least.

The wretched snakes has been quite fast to abandon their newest dwelling. Probably because if the Serpentine had learned anything from the last war, it was that the warriors of Ninjago were not afraid to kick ass. Having another defeat so soon after the last fiasco at Jamanakai Village was absolutely _crushing_ to team morale. Which was important since team morale was the only thing stopping the creatures from breaking out in mass brawls.

It was lucky that the hypnotised Cole had even offered them a distraction in the first place. No doubt that annoying old man (Wu, was it?) would find a solution to the problem, but at least the reptiles would have a good headstart.

After a solid half hour of trudging away from the wrecked tree fort, while listening to Lloyd ranting to the leader of the hypnotised Hypnobrai (and even the snakes could appreciate the irony in that situation), Skales had a brainwave.

He just had to get that little brat to cooperate...

"Masssster Lloyd," Skales tried, even using the formality 'master', even though every instinct he'd ever had told him not to. "Ssseeing asss the ninja ruined our- I mean, _your_ \- bassse of operation, wouldn't it make sssenssse to destroy theirsss?"

It wasn't that Skales was particularly upset about the loss of the treehouse, in fact, he was glad he wasn't in the damn trees anymore (and it was always a bonus to see Lloyd suffer). But Skales was slightly ticked off that the 'pesssky humansss' had gotten one over on them. Them! The ferocious Serpentine! He could not stand for the humans winning. He wanted revenge. And what better way than to make Lloyd turn against his fellows by crushing their home.

Luckily, Lloyd seemed to think it was a good plan.

"You're saying to destroy the monastery?" Lloyd looked accusingly at the second in command for a moment, as if he was the root of all Lloyd's problems. Funny, Skales thought for sure that his scheme would-

"That...that's actually a good plan. General! Tell your troops to follow me to Sensei Wu's monastery!"

The leader barked commands to his soldiers, the snakes groaned and shifted direction once again. Skales smirked to himself. _And people sssay the power of sssugessstion doesssn't work. Wait, isss that the power of sssuggessstion? Or isss that sssomething elssse? Hmm-"_

"Concentrate!" His commander shouted, jolting Skales from his thoughts.

In a perfect world, where the snakes make smart decisions and everything goes according to plan, the snakes would've probably been toasting marshmallows around the smouldering remains of the monastery. Instead, every single thing (including their own stupidity) transpired against them.

First, they got lost.

"What do you mean you don't know where we are?" Skales snapped to the underling who was supposed to be telling them where to go.

"It meansss that SSSOMEONE-" The map reader gestured irritably to Lloyd and the General. "-hasss not been paying attention to the instructionsss I've been giving."

"Hey!" Lloyd said, affronted. Skales almost rolled his eyes.

"Give me the map you idiot." The pissed off snake snatched up the piece of paper. "How hard can thisss even be? It'sss a frigging mountain for the Devourer's sssake! Can't be that hard to ssspot!"

"...sssir the map is upssside-down-"

"I KNOW THAT!" Furious, the second in command turned it the right way round, glaring at the mountain in the distance. The mountain where the monastery resided. End game.

It seemed so far away...

Skales pointed towards the spire of the rock. "We are heading in that direction. And if anyone hasss any problemsss with that, they can do cartwheelsss the entire way there."

No one argued. It's amazing really that Skales even knows what a cartwheel even is.

Second problem, Lloyd.

It seemed that Lloyd was always their enemy in some way or another no matter who the reptiles are fighting.

Something to be known: Serpentine are fast. Even without the long tail, snakes are powerful speedwalkers.

Something else to be known: Lloyd is NOT a speedwalker.

And after an hour of said delinquent complaining about his sore feet, how he couldn't keep up with the rest ( _don't I bloody know that,_ thought Skales) the General's right hand man couldn't take it. He pulled the entire battalion of Hypnobrai over, and made some lesser serpents construct a wagon out of some basic materials they had with them and a few sticks on the ground.

Within a slightly shorter time than expected, the reptilian squad had a makeshift wagon for Lloyd to sit in. Though privately, Skales thought it would be nicer to put Lloyd in a nice steel barred cage, but they didn't actually have one with them, and of course the general would never allow it. The commander himself pulled Lloyd along (per his request), and while this slowed down the journey somewhat, at least Lloyd couldn't give out about it. Well, not too much anyway.

And they weren't even at the top of the mountain yet…

 **XXX**

 **To Be Continued.**


	2. Part Two

Problem number three: The. Freaking. Mountain. Of. Despair.

Even with the getting lost, listening to Lloyd and his talking and the ever growing fear that the ninja could come back before they burn the monastery down and capture them all, the mountain was possibly the worst thing yet.

Though the Hypnobrai had good speed, they had poor stamina. And now with the speed aspect reduced by Lloyd, the blue scaled monsters were left with- well, nothing really.

These certain creatures were quite fond of the ground, and this mountain was the perfect explanation of why. Jagged precipices and ledges, jutting out rocks that knocked the snakes off balance, nearly making them fall over. Impatience was one of the Hypnobrais' primary features, so they kept pushing and shoving their way in front of one another, which ended in a few...accidents. Those snakes will missed - probably.

Earlier, Skales had threatened that anyone with a problem with their decision would be forced to do complex gymnastics the entire way up the spire. One particular reptile, not the smartest tool in the shed, decided to test this very theory.

"You aren't the bossssss Ssskales. We don't have to follow your commandsss." The idiot piped up. Skales whipped around so quickly he almost knocked several of his fellows off the rock.

"What did you jussst sssay?"

Long story short, Skales did well on his punishment. That stupid, stupid questioner. What was he thinking?

No more incidents took place after that shenanigan.

At long long last, they made to the top, and thank the Devourer, the ninja weren't there! Skales almost, _almost_ , beamed. He sneered instead.

"What are you waiting for, sssomeone get the matchesss and light thisss place up!"

This next bit was very awkward.

Skales started off quietly, which wasn't a good sign. The dragons snapped behind him in their pens.

"What. Do you mean. You forgot. The matchesss."

No one answered him. Except one.

"Well, the guy you made do cartwheelsss, he isss ssstill coming up the ledge and he'sss the only one who hasss them-"

"WHY DIDN'T SSSOMEONE TAKE THEM FROM HIM?"

Not even Lloyd spoke. Skales grit his fangs and turned away from the group, steadying his nerves.

"Okay. We will make a fire by usssing the power of friction." The snakes were extremely confused. Skales sighed.

He started explaining his master plan, which involved using flintstones to create fire. It was more elaborate than usual version, and involved several uncalled for swears and insane components.

After a long time of searching for the needed materials, the Serpentine were ready. And they probably would've continued that plan...if the cartwheeling snake from earlier was now at the top of the mountain...with the matches.

Skales contained his outrage with great difficulty. He snatched up the fire starters as the exhausted reptile fell to the ground.

 _Wasss it really worth it?_ Skales thought suddenly. _Wasss it really worth all thisss effort? Wait...who caresss? Burn down the building already._

"Shouldn't we free the dragons?" Lloyd asked, mildly concerned. Afterall, the dragons hadn't done anything. Skales, at his breaking point, payed no attention, and set fire to they dry wood they had surrounding the building.

Within ten minutes, the place was up in smoke. Skales was proud. The Hypnobrai were proud. A historic day for all.

Of course, they would have to climb down the mountain again...

A spot in the sky seemed to be coming closer and closer.

Wait, was that the red ninja's dragon?

"GO!" Skales yelled, and they charged down the mountain at alarming speeds. Lloyd rattled down the steps in his wagon, still being pulled by that stupid General.

When a third of the mountain was left, the wagon started to break up. The snakes slowed down, exhausted. They ambled down the rock, and when they'd gotten to the bottom, Skales had another brainwave. A little too late.

 _What wasss the point in dragging the entire army up the mountain when I ssshould've jussst taken three men and the matchesss? I could've left Lloyd behind- why didn't I think of it?... NO!_

It was frustrating. So, unbearably, frustrating.

 _Thisss isss all stupid Lloyd'sss fault and the ssstupid Commander and the ssstupid map reader and the DAMN NINJA-_

Skales looked at Lloyd. Then at the General Slithraa. Then at the others, making their way back to the Hypnobrai tomb. And had yet another brainwave...hopefully, this one would work better than the last two.

 _I think it'sss time for a change in leaderssship..._

And with an idea in that thick skull of his, Skales began plotting his next villainous plan.

 **The End.**

AN: Don't worry, I know how ridiculous it is. :) I'm just going to leave it here because we all know what happens next: Lloyd escapes, meets the Fangpyre, Skales becomes leader of the Hypnobrai, and so on.

Leave reviews please! They're really helpful.

On that note, thanks to SwimmerNinja13 and MMM for reviewing!

I'll probably be publishing another story again soon (if I ever finish the first chapter) so expect to see another one of my ridiculous attempts at writing in Ninjago archive fast enough. But that's it for now!

-Silver


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